Whinny the Whiner!

Today I am hiding in the house. I have hidden in the house for weeks now. I am hiding from a cat. It not just any cat I am hiding from. I am hiding from Whinny the whiner. I made a mistake. I felt sorry for Whinny. In the hordes of cats that have invaded my flower beds for years, I noticed Whinny. I noticed her because I saw Whinny getting her butt kicked day after day. All the cats fight. They have their own little pecking order-type society like all other creatures. They do not seem to hold a grudge with each other. They fight and then get over it. In the evening when I sink into my lawn chair for a smoke and a drink, the cats gather around me on the lawn for company. None of them are truly pets which need touching. We just sit in each other's company mostly. This works for me. I have a problem with going through life with pets who demand their ears and butts be scratched. You need your ears and butt scratched, do it yourself. I scratch my own ears and butt; I am not going to make a hobby out of being a butt scratcher for some cat.

In the evening hours, I have learned the rank of almost every cat in their secret society. The bottom members of the society are always trying to move up. The top members are always trying to hold their spot. When they push to gain rank, tempers flare. We have small explosions of fur and spit around my lawn chair. The tempers quickly calm just as fast as they ignited. Mostly it is calm, well-ordered gathering around my chair. The top cat is Fluff N' Stuff. She gets the empty lawn chair next to me. She has been here the longest. Her daughter, Lil'Fluff ranks number two. Lil'Fluff earned her rank. She like all the others clawed her way up after being forgotten by her mother. Cats are like that. They seem to forget their children. Once the child is raised they hold no responsibility for what happens to the child. The two seem to have a distant bond. Between them there is respect. I never see Lil" Fluff push to outrank her mother. Below them the society spreads out to Rosie, Gracie, and Audrey. It goes down steps to Zelda, Martha, and ten other female cats who are adults. At the very bottom of the pecking order is a young, ratty looking daughter of Fluff N' Stuff. She was raised last year. She has been forgotten by her mother.

I call her Whinny. It is a new name she just earned in the last two months. I noticed Whinny getting her butt kicked day after day in small disturbances like all the rest. It was nothing new. Whinny was just being taught her place in the circle of cats around my chair. The lower rank cats sit farther from my chair. They can only move closer if I take the time to pet them or scratch behind their ears. The top cats will move over a quarter of an inch to make room for those highest in my favor. Whinny's place was as far away from my chair as she could be placed. I wish I had left her there. But somehow Whinny had offended fat butt Audrey.

I do not know what Whinny did to incur the wrath of fat butt Audrey, but she had paid for it six months now. I could not help feeling sorry for Whinny. Audrey seemed to be holding a grudge. This was strange, new behavior even for Audrey. Audrey was never a favorite of mine. I found her too pushy and aggressive compared to the other cats. No one was allowed to eat from the same pile of dry cat food on the sidewalk that Audrey ate from. If any tried; Audrey would snarl and claw their faces. She had an evil, hateful look on her face. Her green eyes are always closed in a half slit fashion as if the sight of all in her vision should die. Audrey shared that face with not only all the other cats, but with me as well. It was easy to see Audrey feels she is doing the rest of us a favor just by tolerating us. She has never had any mercy for the cats of lower rank. Every day she pushes hard to move up in rank by disrespecting Rosie and Gracie. I can really find nothing good to say about Audrey with the exception that she is a very good mother to her children. It was easy for my heart to go soft at the sight of Audrey abusing poor Whinny.

It started with daily confrontations. Each time it ended with Whinny cowering under a bush torn and scratched. The abuse had gotten so bad, just having Audrey's green eyes settle on her face was enough to send Whinny running. Whinny made all the gestures of a beaten cat to appease Audrey. It was never enough. Something in Whinny's body language just irritated Audrey to no end. Audrey was so infuriated by the sight of Whinny she now would cross the lawn just to ruin her day. She no longer waited for Whinny to walk by in the tiny paths they have worn into my lawn. The sight of Whinny across the lawn was enough to launch Audrey into a full attack. She began to chase Whinny as far as she could see her. Audrey's temper toward Whinny never cooled. It only grew hotter each day. Whinny ran from the lawn in total fear of losing her life. She could no longer eat any meals with the others cats. She could no longer join the sunbathing crew on the front porch. Whinny could no longer sit in the evening around my chair. Audrey had no patience, respect, or mercy for Whinny. Most of her days, Whinny was spending her life hanging from a tree limb waiting for Audrey to leave the base of the tree. Unfortunately Audrey had enlisted the help of her two daughters, Alice and Zelda. Alice and Zelda would quickly scamper up the trees to toss a well-clawed up Whinny to the ground for the ever waiting Audrey.

About two months ago, I thought Whinny had been eaten by the fox. I had not seen her in over a month. I was busy working on my flower bed when I heard the cries of what sounded like a small kitten. I pushed back the flowers to discover a very thin, well beaten Whinny hiding from Audrey and her henchmen. Whinny has always been wild, but on that day Whinny seemed to need comfort. I reached out and scratched her ears. I was surprised she did not run away. It was a mistake to comfort Whinny. She thought we had bonded. We did not bond in my mind. I only offered comfort. I did not see a relationship blooming here. Whinny saw the moment as the day she became a God.

She followed me everywhere. In the beginning I did not mind, but she would look at me then whine in a long, low meow as if she was dying. It was defiantly a whine. Whinny is a whiner. I forgave her for the whining in the first few days. Life had been tough for Whinny since Audrey had ordered her death. Each time she whined I reached out to scratch her ears as comfort. But the whining never ceased. Whinny followed me everywhere whining. To say it was getting on my nerves by the second week would be kind. I now found myself looking for Audrey to come and save me from Whinny with her damn whining. While I had previously thought Audrey was the most awful cat on earth, now I wondered, "Where is my savior?"

After four days of following me around whining, Whinny had gained the courage once again to join the crowd around my chair in the evening. Audrey was not pleased to see her. Whinny dropped to the ground on her belly quickly slinking by Audrey to hide directly under my lawn chair. Audrey accepted the move. She settled back into place with an icy glare on her face content to wish death on Whinny from her place in the circle. Whinny stuck her head from under my chair long enough to stare straight up into my face to whine one long, painful, gut retching whine. Yes, it sounded like a death rattle in her throat. I was weak. I scratched her ears to comfort her. Whinny had achieved her rank around my chair. It was a moment I now totally regret.

Day after day, my bond with Whinny has grown stronger. It is not my choice. The painful, long whines slice through my nerves. To be honest I just want to punch her or kick her. But she is a helpless creature who has suffered. Instead of following my heart, I reach out and scratch her ears. In the evenings when we gather on the lawn; Whinny now sits under my chair whining. Over and over and over she whines. To be honest I think I am beginning to hate her as much as Audrey does. Whinny never leaves from under my chair. I think her whining has started to grade on the other cats as well. They take turns slinking around my chair out of my sight to launch an attack from the back. In these attacks Whinny shoves herself between my feet to hiss at her attackers. I drive them off in fear I will die in a cloud of fur and claws. I am sure all the other cats now blame me for our visits from Whinny. I can feel their resentment.

I can no longer go out of the house without Whinny in my every step. With each step she whines straight up into my face for maximum sympathy. Yes, I have to admit I now make sure my wanderings across the yard take me within reach of Audrey or her daughters, Alice and Zelda. I take no joy in the punishment Whinny receives, but God, how I love the peace and quiet far away from her whiny voice. It might be, I am just an awful person, but each day I find I like Audrey more and more. Thank God, Christmas is coming. I already can hear the joy some nice relative is going to feel when they find Whinny under their tree.

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